Friday, 31 December 2010

What's it all about?

New year 2011.Time for reflection..about triumphs and failures..wants and needs.For the last couple of days I've been ill-didn't feel like doing anything,let alone running-but felt guiltly.I wanted to do 140 miles this week,but things have conspired against me and I feel guilty only running about 90 miles this week.What the hell is that all about?I was watching a youtube clip about Ricky Gates yesterday.He was documenting a trip in 2008 when he raced in Europe,competing in mountain races and cycling in between them.I delved further ,looking at Rickys website and noticed that he commented that at college he had followed rigorous ,structured training programmes,yet he started racing well when he started following a 'run as you feel' schedule.I like that.I like all things like that..reading of people running without watches,keeping no track of mileage,running free,allowing running to be a freedom,not a constraint.I packed in my job because I wanted freedom-freedom from routine-so why am I setting myself a goal of doing X amount of miles this day at this time etc,etc.That is what I want to get away from-to free myself of structure,of constraints,of stresses.I want to run from the heart,from the soul.I don't want to know of maximum heart rates,miles ran during the week,pace per mile..nothing..I just want to do it.I've got the freedom of time.If I want to get up early and run I will..but probably won't..I hate getting up early in the morning,let alone running in the morning.It makes running into a chore..all this 'no pain,no gain 'stuff.I prefer to wake up and think..will go running now..or have a few more hours sleep ..and go later!Lazy attitude-maybe..but that's the way it rolls.
One of my favourite blog posts was by Lucy Colquhoun.She had just helped Jez Bragg on part of a mid winter attempt on The West Highland Way.She'd had to drop out sooner than expected and on the post,written just after,sounded so down.She'd not succeeded in her attempt to get entry to The Western States and sounded so fed up and I remember thinking..this is what I want to read in blogs.I don't want to read of miles done,pace..anything like that..I want to read of raw human emotion..and I remember that particular post because it conveyed that.Everyone who runs alot knows what it means to us-know how much we love it,but sometimes hate it.We make it such a large part of our lives,but,as much as it adds to our lives at times,it can also take away.

And then 2011.Yesterday I booked tickets to Gran Canaria from the middle of January until the start of March.This year is going to be a bench mark year for a feeling!I'm going to do a super cheap holiday there-landing at Las Palmas,with a ruck sack and my trusted Raleigh and living basic for a few weeks.Apparently the island is pretty good for mountain/Trail am going to camp on the free state run /sleep/think of the girl I love..and that's about it.The plan is back to the U.K at the start of March,then straight back out to the start of the Camino De Santiago..and run that..50 mileish a day..gonzo style!!
Happy New Year All!!!!! xx

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