Wednesday, 16 February 2011

The Ego ,The Miles,The Search for Self.

Ego:an inflated feeling of pride in your superiority to others.

Anyone who runs will ,at some point ,have experienced the feeling.The sacrifice of early morning runs,evening runs,getting out in all weathers and conditions produce a feeling.When people question and deride your lifestyle,you smile to yourself,feeling smug,feeling,'I am better than you.I am a runner.'

I used to feel like that.Sometimes still do.When things start to go bad in life you start to train harder.Believe a new p.b will bring you some sort of personal redemption.The nature of the athlete demands competition.We start to run,we begin to think about how fast we can run the distance,if we can finish the distance.We become competitive.

But is this healthy?I,like many others,run with goals in mind,competitive goals.I pound the Skegness streets thinking of The London Marathon.Will I be able to duck under 2 hrs 45 mins?But sometimes this feels so constrictive.I love running,cherish the time on the roads and trails.I base my life,in a big way ,around doing what I love.But I refuse to follow any schedules,refuse to run any predetermined pace,decide the distance the night before,or usually the same day.Sometimes the upcoming race places pressures I dislike,takes away from the joy of the moment.

Sometimes I think of giving up racing altogether.Is it possible to rate your worth as a runner by your intrinsic enjoyment of the activity,rather than by competitive results?I think so.

For the first time in years I have the privilege of the wealth of free time.All I want to do is run long,long miles,just spend the days logging 150/200 miles per week.Not compete,just run.

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